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Relationship counseling - Individual Counseling
How It Works
It takes a roadmap to travel from "gridlock" to intimacy. But with such a map, based on research and years of clinical experience, you can go from feeling stuck and frustrated to finding comfort, warmth, and closeness.
Create a roadmap.
If you've felt stuck in a relationship, it can be a relief to get moving again. The first step is to notice patterns - how each turn you take moves you in or out of that stuck place. What looked like a dead end can be the start of a new journey. I invite you on that journey. It's not the usual journey through time and space. It's a journey into the heart of your relationship.
Most successful journeys are guided by a map, and we'll map a path to the the kind of relationship you want - a relationship that feels safe, close, comforting. Imagine pulling together with your partner through difficult times. When you have a map, you can see the wrong turns before you take them - or turn around before you go down the road too far.
Gain confidence and clarity.
It feels good to be moving again, but the terrain is still difficult. You'll need ways to navigate around the roadblocks you run into by communicating clearly and openly. You'll learn ways of talking that make it easy for your partner to listen. And you'll learn ways of listening that make it easy for your partner to talk about deeper thoughts, feelings, and hopes. You'll have the skills to stop arguments as they unfold, and come back together when things don't go well.
You'll learn how to communicate effectively even when the subject is difficult: parenting, family relationships, sexuality, affairs. When you're communicating well, you can share your most deeply held needs, values, and beliefs, and help your partner do the same. Disagreements become opportunities to learn about each other.
Build bridges.
On the surface, a disagreement might be about something as mundane as cleaning the kitchen or as difficult as an affair. But underneath, disagreements are about connection, security, even survival. At the heart of every communication is emotion. Although we rarely use these words, communication is often about these fundamental questions: Am I important? Are you there for me? Do I matter?
You can explore these deeper questions in a way that feels safe, comfortable, and reassuring. As you do, your relationship starts to shift. This shift goes beyond better communication - it can also help you grow as a person. You have the tools for you and your partner to rediscover the connection you once felt, get to know each other in new ways, and know yourself better. Instead of reacting to what your partner says and does, you begin to define your needs in the relationship while staying emotionally connected. Instead of keeping your desires to yourself, you start to make requests in a way that pulls your partner in.
Develop strategies for staying on track
You're likely to run into bumps and detours as you travel. But you have new understanding, and effective ways to resolve problems and build intimacy. As you gain experience in using the strategies you've learned, you'll be able count on them in the future. When you temporarily fall back into old patterns (and everyone does), you'll always have your roadmap. You'll know what it takes to reconnect and feel close again.
It's easy to get started. Contact me at...
Phone: 510.277.0456
Email:
Pat@LaDouceurMFT.com
Pat LaDouceur is marriage and and couples therapist with an office near Berkeley, in Albany, California. She is a "Marriage Friendly Couples Therapist" Serving the East San Francisco Bay Area including Albany, Berkeley, El Sobrante, Kensington, Oakland, Piedmont, and Richmond.She specializes in helping couples feel closer, reduce conflict, and rebuild trust after infidelity.